Doggin it

Many times, especially at the airport, I feel as if security has reached a level of absurdity. I understand why government officials deem it necessary, and the reason, in my opinion, is not so much to protect the public, but rather to cover their own ass.

I mean, what good does making people take off their shoes really do? That one attempted shoe bomber, and now we all have to suffer by waiting in ridiculous lines to get on a plane. It's just damned aggravating.

Now before you all go off and think to yourself, "Well, shit Derry, we wouldn't want your patience to be tested in favor of national security," here's a perfect example of what I'm talking about.

Here's a story today from The Associated Press, which I thought was hilarious and wanted to share:

After a bomb scare at the Philadelphia Phillies’ ballpark, authorities pointed the finger at a fuzzy green suspect — The Phillie Phanatic.

Hours before the Phillies-Atlanta Braves’ game on Wednesday night, a film crew shot a commercial of the mascot shooting heavily wrapped hot dogs from a launcher.

But someone inadvertently left three of the duct taped hot dogs outside the ballpark, sparking security fears. Stadium employees were evacuated and the bomb squad was called in.

Only after the packages were blown up did authorities realize they’d just exploded some sausages.

“We saw something that looked suspicious,” said Michael Stiles, Phillies senior vice president, administration and operations. “We did the right thing. It turned out to be nothing. We could have gone over and picked it up and thrown it in the trash and been done with it. But if we had been wrong, somebody might have lost an arm.”

After the detonation, the game went on as scheduled.

“I’d rather them blow up some hot dogs or some ketchup and mustard and relish than have it be a real bomb,” reliever Chad Durbin said. “Better safe than sorry.”