I want my six months back

In 1984, I was too young and too new to this whole thing to understand.

In 1989, I learned to hate Will Clark, but my fondness of this team was still in the developmental stage. Besides, we weren't supposed to be that good, and I learned how to make excuses. That's what Cubs fans do, right?

In 1998, Sosa was bigger than the season.

In 2003, Game 5 in Atlanta outshined the Bartman bullshit.

In 2007, Lou was just starting to get it together. Next year finally meant next year.

This. This. This is just unacceptable.

For those of you who aren't Cubs fans and don't understand, and even for those of you who haven't been Cubs fans for at least 15 years or so, I explained it to my bestest Cubs buddy via text message like this: I feel the same exact way I did Sept. 3, 1990. That was the night my first real girlfriend dumped me after being together for five years.

The funny -- maybe I should say weird, because it's not funny -- thing about that is that I thought for months that we should break up. I wanted to do it first, but didn't have the stones. When she did it though, it hit me out of the blue, and I wasn't ready for it to be over. It was devastating. Absolutely devastating.

That's how I feel about these (filth-flarn-filth)ing choking MFing losers. I should have quit on them before they quit on me.

In case you haven't figured it out, I am damned pissed.

This team supposedly was built for THIS season. Like Bestest said, they're never going to have a better lineup than this. They're never going to have a better rotation than this. The back end of their bullpen is never going to be better than this. What in the f&%@ do they need to win the World Series?

This may have been the best shot.

F*&@ the curse. F&%@ Bartman. F^#& the Goat.

It's not a curse. It's a mentality.

If you think like a loser, if you feel like a loser, if you look like a loser, you're going to be a God damned loser. So no more excuses. I will not be offering them again in this lifetime. I will now just say, "Yes, you're right" to the assholes who decide to poke and prod me. Even the ones who are fans from a nameless team who has never won a World Series. Not 100 years ago, never. Yep, they're right, too.

We suck. We'll never win. We should crawl in a f@@@ing hole.

There's no need to recap what happened, or rather, what didn't happen. They didn't show up, and I don't just mean these past three games. They won the division, and crawled into a bottomless hole. They played the last week of the regular season against the Mets and Brewers like they didn't care if they won or lost, and you simply can't play like that.

If you don't care for a week, you're not going to care when the lights come back on. And they played like they didn't care.

I wasted six months of my soul watching and living this group, because I truly believed from the last pitch of the NLDS sweep against the Diamondbacks last year this was it. This was the year I was going to feel the ecstasy of winning, not another agony of defeat.

I watched or listened to at least part of all but FOUR games this year. That is absolutely pathetic, and I am pissed at myself that it took this to figure it out.

No more.

Sure, when next April rolls around, I will still be a fan. Like everyone when they get pissed, it fades somewhat after time. I'll never forget how I feel right now, but I won't be mad anymore.

But they can't have any more of my soul. They certainly don't use it on the field.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CqHTScDBsDU

ALL THE WAY by Eddie Vedder
Don't let anyone say that it's just a game
For I've seen other teams and it's never the same
When you're born in Chicago you're blessed and you're healed
The first time you walk into Wrigley Field
Our heroes wear pinstripes
Heroes in blue
Give us the chance to feel like heroes too
Forever we'll win and if we should lose
We know someday we'll go all the way
Yeah
Someday we'll go all the way

We are one with the Cubs
With the Cubs we're in love
Yeah, hold our head high as the underdogs
We are not fair-weather but foul-weather fans
We're like brothers in arms in the streets and the stands
There's magic in the ivy and the old scoreboard
The same one I stared at as a kid keeping score
In a world full of greed, I could never want more
Than someday we'll go all the way
Yeah
Someday we'll go all the way
Someday we'll go all the way
Yeah
Someday we'll go all the way
Someday we'll go all the way

And here's to the men and the legends we've known
Teaching us faith and giving us hope
United we stand and united we'll fall
Down to our knees the day we win it all

Ernie Banks said "Oh, let's play two"
Or did he mean 200 years
In the same ball park
Our diamond, our jewel
The home of our joy and our tears
Keeping traditions and wishes made new
A place where our grandfathers, fathers they grew
A spiritual feeling if I ever knew
And if you ain't been I am sorry for you
And when the day comes with that last winning run
And I'm crying and covered in beer
I'll look to the sky and know I was right
To think someday we'll go all the way
Yeah
Someday we'll go all the way
Someday we'll go all the way
Yeah
Someday we'll go all the way
Someday we'll go all the way
Yeah
Someday we'll go all the way
Someday we'll go all the way
Yeah
Someday we'll go all the way
Someday we'll go all the way