Week 12 NFL picks

Desperate times call for desperate new ways to make my picks. So, in honor of Robert Frost's 135th birthday in March, we're going to take the Road Less Traveled this week. That's right, for all except maybe four or five games, I tried to pick the opposite of what I thought would be the mainstream. Also in honor of Mr. Frost, I will attempt a poem for each pick. Cut, paste and show it to the kiddies. If it doesn't work, I think we'll try Dice Clay's poems next week. P.S. Forgive me if I don't punctuate correctly. I failed poetry class.

Here we go ...

(16 points) NEW ORLEANS minus-2.5 over GREEN BAY
The Saints were the way to go last week
So we'll ride that train til they're dead
If they get blown out like most expect
I'll lose my last little bit of cred
Last week: Saints (-5.5) 30, Chiefs 20 (Every-other-week strategy worked this time)

(15 points) BUFFALO minus-3.5 over KANSAS CITY
Coach Jauron sometimes forgets
He's got number 23 in the backfield
Don't worry Marshawn Lynch fans
Because he knows the real deal
Last week: Jets 34, Patriots (-2.5) 31 (Like I said last week, I hate NFL overtime rules)

(14 points) CAROLINA even over ATLANTA
The Dirty Birds do well at home
But we all know they're a fluke
And if I lose another 14-point game
It will just make me want to puke
Last week: Giants 30, Ravens (+6.5) 10 (The Raven? Wrong poet)

(13 points) NEW ENGLAND plus-2.5 over MIAMI
Last time I picked the Pats
To roll right over them Fins
Made me want to take my picks
And throw them right into the trash bin
Last week: Cardinals 26, Seahawks (+2.5) 20 (So much for them road-division favs)

(12 points) MINNESOTA plus-2.5 over JACKSONVILLE
I never know what to think
When I watch the disappointing Jags
They stink, they're good, they stink, they're good
As inconsistent as a bunch of used-up rags
Last week: Bucs (-3.5) 19, Vikings 13 (T.B. at home is like free money)

(11 points) HOUSTON plus-3.5 over CLEVELAND
Here's one of those picks
Where everybody likes the other club
Everybody, that is, except me and D
And I guess that means this one is sure to flub
Last week: Panthers (-13.5) 31, Lions 22 (I don't get it)

(10 points) DETROIT +7.5 over TAMPA BAY
The Lions are ready to feast on turkey
Come to think of it, so am I
Oh yeah, and don't forget the stuffing,
the potato salad and definitely the pumpkin pie
Last week: Eagles (-9.5) 13, Bengals 13 (Maybe the worst game in the history of the NFL. Yes, ever)

(9 points) TENNESSEE minus-5.5 over NY JETS
I would have bet a pretty penny
To bet Fisher's boys wouldn't be 10-0
But then again, I have no idea what a pretty penny is
So I don't have to think about it no mo (Groans from the crowd, I know)
Last week: Broncos 24, Falcons (-5.5) 20 (Can anyone figure out Denver?)

(8 points) PHILADELPHIA even over BALTIMORE
Both teams use an intimidating bird
To represent the face of their franchise
But Uncle Sam's choice is very well-known
And to cross him just wouldn't be wise
Last week: Steelers (-3.5) 11, Chargers 10 (Another blown call cost me a win)

(7 points) PITTSBURGH minus-10.5 over CINCINNATI (Thurs.)
It only took me three weeks
But I finally got a Thursday game right
Sorry to screw up my losing streak, y'all
It was simply a minor oversight
Last week: Cowboys (-1.5) 14, Redskins 10 (The Boys are back?)

(6 points) DALLAS minus-10.5 over SAN FRANCISCO
All must be right in the world
Between Tony and Jessica again
Here's hoping he throws four TD passes
Hell, wait, go ahead and make it ten
Last week: Colts (-7.5) 33, Texans 27 (Doesn't Dungy know how to put his foot on the opposition's throat?)

(5 points) SAN DIEGO minus-2.5 over INDIANAPOLIS
Everyone on the planet
Is picking Peyton and the boys
But I'm riding on LT's shoulders
To help me make a little noise
Last week: 49ers 35, Rams (+5.5) 16 (Back to life, back to reality)

(4 points) SEATTLE plus-3.5 over WASHINGTON
Last week we picked the Seabags
And we're givin 'em one more shot
If they lose in this one
I hope they all die of crotch rot
Last week: Packers 37, Bears (+4.5) 3 (Yeah, this one was close)

(3 points) OAKLAND plus-9.5 over DENVER
We all know the Raiders are terrible
But it's hard to know just how bad
Instead of letting JaMarcus throw the ball
Why don't they give it to some other lad
Last week: Browns (+5.5) 29, Bills 27 (And it was a great game to boot)

(2 points) ARIZONA plus-3.5 over NY GIANTS
I keep picking against the G-Men
And they keep making me look silly
But I try and try anyway
Kinda like poker and Jennifer Tilly
Last week: Titans (-2.5) 24, Jags 14 (Great, I got a bunch at the bottom right)

(1 point) ST. LOUIS plus-7.5 over CHICAGO
We come to the end of our little poetic journey
And we hoped you all got a little chuckle
How fitting we end with the Real Men of Genius
Because if you pick them, you usually want to hit yourself with a belt buckle
Last week: Dolphins 17, Raiders (+10.5) 15 (More bottom feeding)

HOW DA CMMSH FARED IN WEEK 11: 6-10, 41 points
OVERALL AGAINST DA SPREAD: 64-80 (.444), 569 points (57 per week)

TP Sports Pool standings: JLE (won week, 97) 815, MLC 691, Lopes 676, LR 651, Gene Pool 626, JRap 604, WWB 600, PVW 593, DJW 592, Me 569, KVP 569