It's effin boring around here

I just looked it up -- there hasn't been an entry into the quote file since late September. Now, to make things even worse, two members of the copy desk have given up cussin as their New Year's resolution.

Horse hockey, I say.

This is just no damned fun. Whatever happened to the ole, "God Dammit Gene!" or "This is supposed to be 20 effing inches and it's 30! Son of a bitch!" or "It's five minutes to deadline; send your effing story!"

I miss my friends.

This also made me wonder why people have New Year's resolutions anyway. Assuming your Catholic -- and the majority of the people I know are -- it makes much more sense to give things up for Lent. With Lent, there's a specified time before you can begin sinning again and not feel guilty about it.

I mean, seriously, if you give up cheeseburgers as your New Year's resolution, the first time you eat a greasy slab of Bessie, you're gonna feel guilty, no matter whether it's Jan. 12 or Oct. 14. Just wait a couple of months, and you give yourself something to look forward to. To hell with that damned "Eat More Chikin" Cow. Slice her up, too. You know one thing's for sure -- come Easter Sunday you can eat more meat than Kobayashi on July 4.

I say sinners unite. I mean what is really accomplished by giving up something you know won't last anyway? Is the world a better place because you didn't yell, 'Shit' because the printer won't print? Will The Gene Pool love JLE any less if she doesn't call him an idiot Saturday night? Will Steinbauer sleep better if MLC doesn't tell him to get his effin story in on time?

I say no. I say you Filth-Flarn-Filthians should cuss it up. Fat people? Stay fat. Morons? Well there's no help for you, anyway.

Life should be enjoyed to the fullest. And fullest, my friends, begins with an F.