Week 16 NFL picks

Depending on how you look at it, I did everyone a favor by not blogging my picks last week during my vacation. It was real bad news for you if you use my picks as a guide to take the opposite. I apologize if that's how you use this -- in that case -- very valuable tool.

We have officially given up on finishing the season .500, but there's no quit in the lovable loser. Nope, in the snow last week, we saw a vision of Mr. Frost, and he told me to stop using his name on my blog. Something about copyright infringements. So we were on our own last week. In the spirit of Marley and Ebenezer, we will invoke the ghosts of Christmas past and tell the old dead bastard to, er, live with it. We were well over .500 with him, and we're gonna try the poetry thing one more time in hopes of a 12-4 bonanza.

Here we go ...

(16 points) NEW ORLEANS minus-6.5 at DETROIT
In the spirit of Christmas,
everyone deserves a win
But if the Saints lose this one
we'll consider it a Cardinal sin
Last week: Jaguars 20, Packers (-1.5) 16 (Just the beginning of the misery)

(15 points) TAMPA BAY minus-3.5 vs. SAN DIEGO
If you have paid attention,
then you know
The NFC South wins at home
rain, sleet and, yes, even snow
Last week: Bears 27, Saints (+2.5) 24, OT (I rode that horse til it was dead. It's dead. OK, one more week.)

(14 points) CHICAGO minus-3.5 vs. GREEN BAY
The Monsters of the Midway
still have a shot,
While the Pack without Favre
sits in a stink-filled, garbage-laden rot
Last week: Falcons (-2.5) 13, Bucs 10 (NFC South at home, babbee)

(13 points) HOUSTON minus-6.5 at OAKLAND
The Texans' defense has played
mighty stout as of late,
And that's more than enough
to stop JaMarcus and his mates
Last week: Steelers 13, Ravens (-1.5) 9 (Baltimore as a favorite? What was I thinking?)

(12 points) NY GIANTS minus-2.5 vs. CAROLINA
When it comes to December
the cream rises to the top,
And in my opinion,
the Panthers are about to flop
Last week: Chargers 22, Chiefs (+5.5) 21 (KC has been a decent dog all season)

(11 points) TENNESSEE plus-1.5 vs. PITTSBURGH
Every week there's a spread
that just doesn't make sense;
So here, boys and girls,
is your chance to make the rent
Last week: Jets (-6.5) 31, Bills 27 (Noooowwww they use Mojo Lynch)

(10 points) NEW ENGLAND minus-7.5 vs. ARIZONA
I like the Pats even if
this one smells a little funny
But so did my breakfast,
that'd be eggs -- sunny and runny
Last week: Eagles 30, Browns (+13.5) 10 (OK, so I was desperate)

(9 points) CLEVELAND minus-2.5 vs. CINCINNATI
I know the Browns stink,
but so does Cincy;
It's Christmas time,
remember not to be chintzy
Last week: Colts (-17.5) 31, Lions 21 (I have been awwwwful with double-digit-spread games)

(8 points) NY JETS minus-4.5 at SEATTLE
It's almost the postseason,
and I'm rootin for the Jets
Let's just hope they
do better than the stinkin Mets
Last week: Seahawks 23, Rams (+2.5) 20 (What the F happened at the end of this one?

(7 points) INDIANAPOLIS minus-6.5 at JACKSONVILLE (Thurs.)
The Colts came out
and gave me an early present;
The rest of my picks
should float as well as cement
Last week: Dolphins (-6.5) 14, 49ers 9 (Wow, Miami's offense has become stagnant)

(6 points) BALTIMORE plus-3.5 at DALLAS
The Ravens play much better
when they're the dog
Can you imagine how good their defense would be
if they played in pea-soup type of fog
Last week: Vikings (+2.5) 35, Cardinals 14 (Picking against Arizona has been pretty easy lately)

(5 points) SAN FRANCISCO minus-4.5 at ST. LOUIS
Don't care the game,
there's no more pickin the Lambs
Of course there's only one week left
and that just makes me wanna say, "Damn!"
Last week: Texans (+3.5) 13, Titans 12 (Told ya bout dat Texans' D)

(4 points) MIAMI minus-3.5 at KANSAS CITY
Logic screams out that
the Chiefs will cover,
But I'm sorta slow
Kinda like a turtle (huh?)
Last week: Cowboys 20, Giants (+2.5) 8 (G-Men needed a wakeup call)

(3 points) WASHINGTON plus-5.5 vs. PHILADELPHIA
Cuz of last week's fiasco,
I'll hate dem Skins til the day I die;
Incidentally that's sorta the way
I feel about Rhubarb Pie
Last week: Bengals 20, Redskins (-6.5) 13 (M*%th*rf#%*er)

(2 points) MINNESOTA minus-3.5 vs. ATLANTA
The Birds aren't as good
when they leave their nest,
even if they are like mosquitoes:
such an effing pest
Last week: Panthers 30, Broncos (+7.5) 10 (Denver is one hard team to read)

(1 point) BUFFALO plus-6.5 at DENVER
The Bills are a team who
is used to the cold air;
Merry Christmas to all,
even if your name is Clare
Last week: Patriots 49, Raiders (+7.5) 26 (Not gonna mention again that I should've taken the Patsies. Oooops.)

HOW DA CMMSH FARED IN WEEK 15: 4-12, 37 points
HOW DA CMMSH FARED IN WEEK 14: 9-7, 80 points
OVERALL AGAINST DA SPREAD: 95-113 (.457), 849 points (61 per week)

TP Sports Desk Pool: JLE 1101, MLC 966, LR 949, Lopes 919, WWB 919, PVW 887, Gene Pool 885, JRap (won week, 91) 881, DJW 858, Me 849, KVP 832