Farewell 2008 (and Good Riddance)

So 2008 wasn't the greatest of years, although it had some great moments.

In fact, it held the No. 1 moment of my life, as on the first day of February, I married my best friend in a Mardi Gras parade with friends and family with us riding down St. Charles for hours afterward. It simply doesn't get any better than that.

But there were some big downers, too. Since we want to keep this last post of the year upbeat, we'll ignore those. In fact, maybe 2008 wasn't so bad after all.

Let's leave this eighth year of the new millenium in the past with the top five headlines that ran in The Times-Picayune -- the ones that ran, that is, only in my mind.

Giuliani edges Obama
After easily taking Republican nomination, former New York mayor will become nation's 44th president

NEW YORK (Nov. 3) -- It took well into the wee hours of Wednesday morning, but former New York Mayor Rudolph Giuliani is the president-elect after carrying his home state -- the first time a Republican has won New York since Ronald Reagan won his second term in 1984.

It appeared dim for Giuliani in the early hours of Tuesday evening when it was announced he lost Pennsylvania and Ohio, two key battleground states. But he squeaked out Missouri and Florida -- winning each state by less than two percent -- and had to wait until 5 a.m. Eastern time to find out if he had carried his home state.

He did so by less than two-tenths of one percent, and with it came the presidency.

"I am so grateful to the people of New York," Giuliani said. "I knew they would pull through for me, and I will never forget them. Next up, it's time to save the middle class of this country by extending the Bush tax cuts and fixing the economic problems. We will make sure those companies rewarded by bailouts will pay every cent of that money back to the taxpayers of the United States of America.

"We also want to send as strong a message as we can to the people of the Middle East that while we strive for peace, we will not tolerate terrorism, nor will we accept the bullying tactics that have been allowed to exist. Certainly, though, our No. 1 priority is securing our own borders here at home and making sure all Americans are safe."

Morpheus names
its 2009 king
20-year parade veteran finally gets 'a shot'

NEW ORLEANS (April 14) -- Saying he's thrilled to have the opportunity to be king for a day, a Metairie man has been named King Morpheus for next year's parade, which will roll Feb. 20, 2009.

It will be tough to top this past year's ride for N.O. Mojo, who was married to Metry Mama on Feb. 1 on Float 20 of the Morpheus parade, but he says, "I'll do my damndest."

Mojo, who will be 40 when he assumes the throne, says it' has been his lifelong dream to be king of a Mardi Gras organization, especially one he's become very close to the past few years. This will approximately be his "25th or 30th" ride in a parade, having been in Endymion, Thoth and currently, Mojo also rides in the Krewe of Alla on the Westbank.

"Yeah, I'm finally getting a shot to do what I have always dreamed of," he said. "I didn't think it could get better than last year after the Mama agreed to marry me on a float. I just hope somebody can control the Bunnee Boy without me up there. And then there's my crazy sis and cousin from Georgia. I guess I'll let the Blowhole take my spot, but I don't want him riding next to my wife, ha ha."

Bye Bye Goat,
Bye Bye Bartman
Derrek Lee's game-winning homer in ninth secures Cubs' first World Series title in 100 years

ST. PETERSBURG, FLA. (Oct. 30) -- It was like a dream.

Two outs, top of the ninth. Trailing by one run in Game 7 of the World Series. Then, with the ghosts of old goats and visions of Steve Bartman dancing in their heads, the 100 years of futility ended in a domed ballpark 1,000 miles away from historic Wrigley Field when Derrek Lee's 440-foot blast to deep center field off David Price at Tropicana Field landed safely in the cheap seats.

Kerry Wood saved his third game of the Series, and with the 5-4 win, the Cubs were named World Champions for the first time since 1908. Outside Wrigley Field, more than 100,000 fans crowded the streets of Addison and Waveland and the surrounding neighborhoods in absolute exultation.

"It is by far the biggest moment of my life," Lee said. "To end the misery and pain of all these fans who have never seen anything like this in their lifetimes. You know what, they may never see it again, but it's all worth it tonight."

For Wood, the longest-tenured Cub and one of only three left from the 2003 team (Aramis Ramirez, Carlos Zambrano are the others), which came within five outs of the World Series, being on the mound for the final out is a moment he will cherish for the rest of his life.

"Absolutely indescribable," Wood said. "When I started pitching here, I was just a kid, and I can't imagine a better place or better people for this to happen to. They can all forget about the damned curses now. We are World Champions."

Metairie man takes
World Series of Poker
After classic battle with one of game's best, amateur wins over $9 million

LAS VEGAS (Nov. 10) -- Once an almost unfathomable dream has come true for an amateur poker player from Metairie: Winning the World Series of Poker.

Even as big, said N.O. Mojo, was how he finished it off.

No one gave him much of a chance as he started the final table sixth in chips, and those same skeptics gave Mojo even less of a chance, as he made it to the final three against Mike "The Mouth" Matusow and Phil "Poker Brat" Hellmuth as the short stack.

But he doubled up off Hellmuth, before Matusow caught a flush on the river against the Brat, topping three aces. That set off a wild tirade by Hellmuth, while Matusow jumped up and yelled, "I got you, you idiot! I knew the poker gods would smile on me some day, and now I'm ready to take out this chump."

After having the rest of the night off, The Mouth and Mojo started again the next day with Matusow having a 4-to-1 chip edge. But Mojo doubled up early with his full house beating Matusow's straight, which prompted The Mouth to say, "Nice hand, donk."

After three hours of back-and-forth, Mojo finally pulled ahead and won the tournament shortly after. The winning hand came after he called The Mouth's pre-flop raise of four times the blind with Ace-8 suited in clubs. Matusow's pocket jacks were no good when the flop came 10-clubs, 9-clubs, 2-clubs. The Mouth went all-in, and Mojo instantly called.

"Un-effing-believable," Matusow exclaimed.

Mojo took the $9 million prize and the bracelet that went with it, knowing he was the world's best of 2008.

"Surreal," he said. "I just am at a loss for words, which is rare for me. I know one thing -- Metry Mama and I are gonna live it up tonight."

Unclaimed Powerball ticket worth $80 million
Winning ticket purchased at Cleary Chevron in Metairie

METAIRIE (Dec. 28) -- Someone who bought a Powerball ticket in Metairie is $80 million richer.

The winner has yet to come forward, but rumor has it that it's not the first time this person has been lucky this year.

"I know who won," said a friend of the winner on the condition of anonymity. "Yep, the mutha won $9 million earlier this year, and now he won this. Lucky bastard. The first time, he only gave me a thousand bucks, so I'm expecting my house to be paid off this time!"

Also, in an unsubstantiated report in which it is unsure whether it's related to the Powerball announcement, there was a rumor swirling that one of members of the sports copy desk of The Times-Picayune has disappeared since the winning numbers have been announced. He has not showed up for work the past three days.

More on this story to come.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!